As wedding photographers, the photos we capture often hold a unique place in our clients’ lives. We take these photos to capture real emotional moments, such as love and joy. We take these photos to preserve beautiful memories.

But what happens to those photos when the couple divorces later on? This topic is something that is considered a taboo in the wedding photography industry. But they do happen.

It’s Natural to Wonder About Our Work

I sometimes wonder what happens to those photos, and what they mean to the couple afterwards. Are they a source of pain? Are they something that gets burned in fire?

While one might argue that the photos are theirs and that we made them for them, I usually become friends with my clients and am curious about what happens in their lives. A beautiful byproduct of that is sometimes they may want photos from me again.

The Complex Emotions of Wedding Photography

I know of a groom who got divorced fairly shortly after getting married about six or seven years ago. I can still remember how the bride sent me a text message cooing about their wedding photos along with a picture of them hanging on the wall.

I was friends with him and his ex-wife on Facebook and they seemed so great together. And then suddenly, she was traveling somewhere while he was back home. I knew that something had happened there.

I was surprised and felt guilty. I envisioned them absolutely hating the photos. And I associated that with me. I took things personally.

And then a realization hit me. It was not guilt. It was me thinking of the photos as a source of pain – and it really sucks. It’s not fun knowing that those photos are going to be a source of discomfort.

Just recently, the groom sent me an unexpected message. He said that after their separation, he was filled with hate, anger, animosity, pain and regret. But after years, he looked at the photo and started crying, and then felt gratitude. He thanked me for teaching him to appreciate and love the good times instead of dwelling on the bad times.

This blew my mind!

The Impact of Documentary Photography

Getting that message made me further realize that photography is such an opportunity to help others feel gratitude. Those of us who photograph with no fabricating, no directing, just documenting what is happening, photographing people exactly where they are, when they are with the people they love – gratitude is what we help others feel.

This is the value of documentary photography, of documentary wedding, and family photography! They give people the chance to really see their lives as they are in that very moment! We’re giving them a gift, providing them a service that can be potentially healing and invaluable.

Shifting Your Perspective

I hope this has given you some element of appreciation for the work that you do. We don’t know how our clients are going to receive our photos in the future. But this experience of being able to look back, even through the pain, and feel gratitude is probably the most meaningful things I’ve ever heard about photography in my life.

So keep doing the good work!

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