If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to juggle menopause, crocheting disasters, and a groundbreaking photography book while pulling piercings out of your own nose, buckle up. This is the story of Kirsten’s life right now, and its equal parts hilarious, heartbreaking, and inspiring.

Let’s start with the pliers. Yes, you read that right. Kirsten recently decided to get not one, but two piercings, because why not? But when one of them got infected, she took matters into her own hands. Literally. She grabbed pliers, wire cutters, and whatever else she could find to remove the piercing herself. “I hurt myself several times, started bleeding, and finally got it out,” she said, laughing. She even posted the whole ordeal on Instagram, because, as she put it, “I’ve decided I’m a show, and I’m funny. That’s part of my charm.”

But Kirsten’s life isn’t just about DIY piercings and bedhead (though she and I both had some serious bedhead during this chat). She’s also in the final stretch of publishing her first book, Unsupervised, a 14-year labor of love that documents the messy, beautiful reality of family life. And let me tell you, this book is not your average coffee table photo book. It’s a raw, honest, and deeply moving exploration of what it means to love and be loved.

Menopause, Kids, and a Book 

Here’s where things get really crazy. Kirsten is going through menopause while raising three young kids AND trying to finish this book. Talk about a triple whammy! 

“I made a proactive choice to have a small child and go through and now I have three part-time, while going through menopause,” she told me, laughing at the absurdity of it all. “What? Why would I do that?” 

The stress is taking its toll on her body, too. At 48, Kirsten’s suddenly dealing with acne for the first time in her life. “I’ve never broken out like this ever in my life,” she said, sounding both frustrated and bewildered. “And what I’m 40 I’m gonna be 48. This is the time. Like, what?” 

As we talked, it became clear that Kirsten’s journey to create this book has been as much about personal growth and confronting her own demons as it has been about photography.

A Book 14 Years in the Making

So why put herself through all this? Kirsten’s book, “Unsupervised,” has been her passion project for the last 14 years. It all started when she began taking candid photos of families in their everyday lives – not the perfect, posed shots, but the real, messy, beautiful moments. 

“I think there’s a book here,” Kirsten realized after about 30 or 40 photo sessions. 

But, it wasn’t a smooth journey from idea to publication. Eight years ago, Kirsten thought she had an edit ready to go. She even pre-sold some copies! But then she took a hard look at her work and realized something important was missing. 

“I was not accurately representing the diverse world that we live in,” Kirsten admitted. The photos were mostly of white, middle to upper-class families. She knew she had to do better. So, Kirsten scrapped her plans and committed to creating a book that truly represented the beautiful diversity of families. It meant more work and more time, but she knew it was the right thing to do. 

“I committed to myself to work with integrity, to work hard, to not exploit anybody, and not put the book out until I was absolutely sure that I was doing right by the world that I share with everybody else,” she explained. This decision speaks volumes about Kirsten’s character and her dedication to creating something truly meaningful, even if it meant delaying her dream.

Facing Fears and Critics

Writing this book forced Kirsten to confront a lot of her own fears and insecurities. She’s never been great with deadlines, and suddenly she had publishers and editors expecting things from her. The pressure was intense. 

But, the real gut-punch came during a portfolio review with a big-shot publisher. Kirsten paid $300 for a 30-minute review, hoping for constructive feedback. Instead, she got a brutal takedown. “This is all a white girl’s perspective,” the publisher told her. “There’s no substance to any of this work. You’re wasting my time, you should find something else to do.” 

Ouch. I could see the pain in Kirsten’s eyes as she recounted this story. But you know what? That criticism lit a fire under her. It pushed her to work even harder to prove that publisher wrong. 

“Even if you did put this book out, how many? How many books do you think you think you could even sell?” the publisher had sneered at her. When Kirsten suggested she could sell at least 200 copies, he laughed in her face. “There’s no fucking way you will ever sell 200 copies of anything,” he told her. Now, Kirsten’s determined to prove him wrong. She’s even considering going back to sit across from him when the book is published, just to show him how far she’s come.

The Home Stretch

Now, after 14 years of hard work, Kirsten’s book is almost here. She showed me a mock-up of the cover, and I got chills seeing her name on it. But Kirsten’s not done dreaming big. 

“My dream is, a photo book has never made it to a New York Times bestseller list,” she told me, a mix of excitement and nervousness in her voice. To even be considered, she needs to sell 5,000 copies in the first week. It’s a huge goal, but Kirsten’s pulling out all the stops to make it happen. She’s reaching out to podcasts, trying to get on TV shows, and shamelessly promoting the book every chance she gets. (She even posted a video of herself trying to remove a nose piercing with pliers. Talk about commitment to marketing!) 

“I’m going to do the most uncomfortable thing I’ve ever done, which is send out a newsletter, slash email every day moving forward,” Kirsten shared, her determination palpable. “I just posted a video of me with pliers up my nose. So, if that doesn’t work, nothing will.”

Why This Book Matters

You might be wondering why Kirsten cares so much about this book. It’s not about fame or money – she doesn’t make a dime off sales. It’s about getting these photos and stories out into the world.

“We live in a time when everyone’s trying to look perfect on social media,” Kirsten explained. “But real life is messy and complicated. I want people to see that their family’s chaos is normal and beautiful.”

This book is for every parent who’s ever felt like they’re failing. For every kid who thinks their family is weird. For anyone who needs a reminder that love comes in all shapes and sizes.

Kirsten shared a powerful example of why this book matters so much to her. She told me about photographing a 63-year-old first-time dad with his toddlers. His quote about becoming a dad later in life was refreshingly honest: “To be honest, I was just really psyched to be getting laid. I was not thinking about the kid thing.”

It’s this kind of raw, unfiltered truth that Kirsten wants to capture and share with the world. In a time when so much of what we see online is curated and filtered, “Unsupervised” offers a glimpse into the beautiful reality of family life.

Personal Struggles and Growth

As we talked, Kirsten opened up about her own personal struggles that have both challenged and fueled her work on this book. She shared that she recently ended her relationship with her mother due to addiction issues.

“It’s not lost on me, the irony that I’m putting out this book celebrating and honoring life and its messiness and its beautifulness centered in family, and my family is completely fractured,” Kirsten admitted.

But through this project, Kirsten has also found healing and a chosen family. She’s learned to confront her own biases, face her fears, and push through the tough times. This book isn’t just a collection of photos; it’s a testament to Kirsten’s personal growth and resilience.

The Financial Reality of Following Your Dream

One aspect of this journey that Kirsten was refreshingly honest about was the financial strain of creating this book. “This book is really fucking expensive,” she told me, the stress evident in her voice. She shared that she recently received a bill that was significantly higher than she expected, due in just three weeks.

This financial pressure adds another layer of stress to an already challenging process. But Kirsten’s determination to see this project through, despite the personal and financial costs, is truly inspiring.

How You Can Help

If you’ve made it this far, thanks for sticking with me! If you want to support Kirsten’s crazy dream, here’s how you can help: 

• Pre-order the book on Amazon. Every pre-order counts towards first-week sales!
• Tell your friends about it. Word of mouth is everything for a project like this.
• Follow Kirsten on social media and share her posts about the book.
• If you know Drew Barrymore or Oprah, hook a sister up! (Hey, Kirsten’s dreaming big!)

Kirsten has some creative ideas for promoting the book, including trying to get on Drew Barrymore’s show to photograph her family and discuss the importance of documentary family photography. She’s also reaching out to podcasts about family, psychology, education, and entrepreneurship.

The Takeaway

As our conversation wound down, I found myself in awe of Kirsten’s perseverance and passion. Creating this book has been a 14-year labor of love, filled with setbacks, self-doubt, and personal struggles. But through it all, Kirsten has remained committed to her vision of celebrating families in all their messy, beautiful reality.

“Unsupervised” isn’t just a book of family photos. It’s a reminder that our imperfect, chaotic lives are worthy of celebration. It’s a challenge to the curated perfection we see on social media. And it’s proof that with enough determination, we can overcome our fears and create something truly meaningful.

Most importantly, Kirsten wants everyone to remember that their own family’s story is worth celebrating. Take some candid photos, embrace the mess, and love each other fiercely. That’s what it’s all about.

As I ended the call with Kirsten, I felt inspired, moved, and maybe a little exhausted on her behalf. Creating art isn’t easy, but Kirsten Lewis is proof that it’s worth the struggle. I, for one, can’t wait to see “Unsupervised” hit the shelves – and maybe even that New York Times bestseller list.

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